change catches up, especially when you’re ready
At the beginning of the semester, 2023, I remember stepping into the senior capstone class and feeling three things: intimidated, unprepared and, above all else, uncomfortable. I knew that this year would be a jump. As a third year senior, I had to prepare myself for feeling like an impostor. The people in my classes would be people I knew, but not as intimately as those I shared an age with.
The teachers were changing as well, Dr. Rich Johnson had just left, not only as my Creightonian mentor, but as my faculty advisor. I knew that the classes I was taking were shaping me into a better journalist and a better professional. It was at the point of that realization, that I had to seriously ask myself: is this all there is? I’ve found that the lead up to an event is often greater than the actual event itself. Take for example the year 2020. For the entirety of my life, I had built this year up as not only one that sounded ficticious because of the way it rolled off the tongue, but because that was the year I graduated high school. There’s no need to bore you with the year of 2020 and its many grievances, but this semester felt awfully similar. The year I graduated college had finally arrived and I didn’t know if I was ready.
Two weeks in, I wasn’t sure I could do it if I’m honest. The stress of The Creightonian and of thinking critically about what kinds of first jobs I wanted to have was really quite debilitating. However, if there is something I like to pride myself in, it’s my willingness to persevere. I found myself saying a string of three phrases introspectively, “well, I’ve gotta do it,” “sometimes we have to do hard things,” and “it’s not worse.” I gave myself a lot of grace this semester which is something I have also been proud of. All too often, I forget to let myself find joy in the things I’m doing and jsut accomplish the task at hand. The only result this reaps is an unhappy outlook.
Halfway through the semester, I could see myself at the end a little clearer. I knew that the weight of Editor in Chief of The Creightonian was off my back and I had an idea of what type of journalism I wanted to pursue after MediaFest22 in Washington D.C. While this semester was definitely challenging, it also hosted the highlight of my Creighton career with this conference and trip. Out of MediaFest, I found Report for America, which I will be applying to in just a few short days at the time of my writing this blog. Report for America is a local journalism initiative that places young and experienced journalists alike in local newsrooms across the country. In an attempt to save what I have come to find as the lifeblood of democracy, I truly care about this cause and can’t wait to, hopefully, be a part of it.
Some highlights of this semester also included my mentor, and Energy Reporter at Politico, Cat Morehouse. She has been so helpful and I have had the pleasure of meeting with her, in person, quite a few times, despite her residence in Washington D.C. She helped guide me to use what I know and the strengths I have to build a career. She emphasized that it’s not about the experience you have, while helpful, but the willingness you have to work. I am confident I have a strong work ethic and a strong sense of passion for local journalism. I can use my skills that I’ve learned both in The Creightonian newsroom and during my time at Metropolitan Utilities District to craft a career.
In addition to personal relationships, I have built my physical portfolio with the help of my senior capstone class. I rebuilt The Creightonian website, contributed numerous stories to The Creightonian, designed a 100-year spread, oversaw the 100th year anniversary of The Creightonian and worked a part-time job at the same time to support myself. As the semester closes, I can firmly say that I have grown as a journalist, professional and person thanks to Carol Zuegner, my friends and my family. While I’m looking excitedly, perhaps too much so, towards graduation, I don’t feel as uncomfortable as I did in August. I look forward to bringing a queer voice to local journalism, unbiasedly of course, and to making an impact in people’s lives wherever I go.